What do you do when your child finally asks the big questions… and your heart starts racing?
Fifteen years ago, one Sunday sermon quietly convicted me in a way I’ve never forgotten. The pastor said we cannot simply “outsource” the hard conversations with our children. Yes, “it takes a village to raise a child” has some truth — but God has given the primary responsibility to us as parents. Our kids are watching us closely. They notice how we live, how we speak, and how we respond to awkward moments.
That message stirred something in me: a deeper desire to love Jesus with all my heart and to raise my children in a way that honours Him.
A few years ago, my husband and I began praying earnestly together, asking God for wisdom and the right timing to talk with our daughter about sex and purity. We longed to create a home where honesty and vulnerability felt safe.
Not long after, I sat with my then 13-year-old daughter to read Not If, But When: Preparing Our Children for Worldly Images by John Perritt. As we turned the pages, she suddenly looked up and said, “Mum… it’s so hard to hear the word ‘sex’. It’s so cringey!”
I smiled, because I knew exactly how she felt. That awkwardness is real. But in that moment, something beautiful happened — a door opened for one of the most honest conversations we’ve ever had.
I was reminded again of the importance of being ready during a playdate with other mums. One mum shared that her 6-year-old son had suddenly asked, “How do babies come out of mummy’s tummy?” Caught off guard, she blurted out, “Oh… babies come out of mummies’ mouths!”
We laughed, but the story stayed with me. When we’re unprepared, we miss sacred opportunities to speak truth that will help our children flourish.
John Perritt puts it powerfully: “I’m convinced that one of the greatest tools the enemy has used when it comes to pornography has been this: silence” (Perritt, 2019, p. 9). Books like Not If, But When help us break that silence and step into these moments with confidence. It gently teaches that sex is not a dirty word — it is one of God’s good gifts, designed for marriage. It also prepares us for the reality that our children are being exposed to the world’s twisted ideas far earlier than we think.
Even if we protect our own children from screens, the world still finds a way in. That’s why we cannot afford to stay silent. We are called to speak first, with truth and love.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (CEV) reminds us of this responsibility in the context of everyday life: “Memorize these laws and think about them when you are at home or walking along the road or going to bed at night or getting up in the morning.” God wants His truth woven into the ordinary moments with our children.
Ephesians 6:4 (CEV) adds this challenge to parents: “Parents, don’t be hard on your children. Raise them properly. Teach them and correct them as the Lord wants.” Our calling is not just to protect them, but to actively train them in the ways of the Lord.
As Psalm 119:105 (CEV) says, “Your word is a lamp that gives light wherever I walk.” God’s Word truly is a light to our children’s feet. May it also be a light to ours as we seek to parent with wisdom, courage, and wholehearted love for Jesus.
Have you had one of those awkward but holy conversations with your children? I’d love to hear your story in the comments.
Reference Perritt, J. (2019) Not If, But When: Preparing Our Children for Worldly Images. Fearn: Christian Focus Publications.
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